We teach kids to read, count and tie their shoes. Emotions are a skill too, and kids who learn to recognize and name their feelings often find it easier to calm down, ask for help and get along with others.
The best part: it doesn’t take a curriculum. A few minutes of play and conversation, woven into everyday life, does most of the work.
The foundation: name, notice, handle
- Name: learn the words for feelings, from small (“uneasy”) to big (“furious”).
- Notice: recognize where feelings show up in the body.
- Handle: practice simple tools to calm down and solve problems.
Ages 2–4: feelings faces
- Mirror game: make happy, sad, mad and scared faces together in a mirror.
- Name it out loud: “You’re frustrated because the tower fell.”
- Feelings in books: pause and ask, “How do you think the bunny feels?”
- Simple choices: “Are you feeling sad or mad?”
Ages 5–7: building vocabulary
- Feelings chart: post a chart with feeling words and point to it together.
- Feelings charades: act out a feeling while others guess.
- Body detective: “Where do you feel worry? In your tummy? Your chest?”
- Calm-down practice: learn one breathing trick when everyone is calm.
Ages 8–10: understanding causes
- Feelings thermometer: rate a feeling from 1 to 5 and pick a matching calm-down idea.
- Journaling: a few lines about a big feeling and what helped.
- Story discussions: talk through how characters handle hard moments.
- Worry box: write worries on paper and “park” them until a set talk time.
Ages 11–12: managing and empathy
- Name the mix: “I’m excited and nervous at the same time.”
- Perspective taking: “How might your friend have felt?”
- Plan ahead: what to do before a hard situation, like a test or a tryout.
- Reflection: what worked last time, and what they’d try differently.
Everyday habits that matter most
- Name your own feelings out loud, calmly.
- Treat all feelings as okay, even when some behaviors aren’t.
- Practice skills when everyone is calm, not mid-meltdown.
- Praise the effort to name a feeling, not just calm behavior.
Tools to get started
Start with our free printable feelings chart, 30 feeling words in six color-coded families. For a guided approach, Big Feelings, Brave Me uses stories and journal pages to help kids ages 6–12 build these skills step by step.